Earlier, I woke up from my afternoon nap in shock.
I dreamt that a friend had texted me a suicidal message. Which started off with the friend saying what he was planning to do and ending with "if I would do it, you would too right".
Apparently I was dreaming lucidly, so I was aware that it was a dream. However, this friend was a friend with a history of attempted suicide and I couldn't get over the nagging "what if it's real" feeling and I had to make sure. Because my brain woke up earlier than my body did, I was in a state of paralysis and chanting "BODYWAKEUPBODYWAKEUPBODYWAKEUPBODYWAKEUP", etc., and the first thing I did when I could move was run over to my phone. Thank goodness it wasn't real.
Not a good dream, that feeling...
A short 2-minute video of Grandpa (1918-2013) just sitting at the table doing his daily stuff. Might seem a little mundane, but it's little things like these you miss most: often overlooked and taken for granted, but representative of a person's existence.
For example, the little packet of Ensure Plus: we started to let him take this milk regularly to supplement his diet when he started to eat lesser and lesser. At the beginning, he enjoyed this milk and could finish the entire packet in one sitting, but then started drinking lesser and lesser again. As you would see in this video, all he did was take a few sips. At another point in the video, he rejects eating the leftovers of his food, of which only one or two mouthfuls were taken.
That action of cleaning the table with the ball of tissue paper: grandpa was someone who loved cleanliness. Any little spot on the table, little droplet of water, would be cleaned off immediately. He had a tray on his right side which would always contain a box of tissue paper. Somewhere in the background in one point, grandma walks down the stairs carrying a few boxes to place in his room.